10:45-12:15 PM. The company is based in Louisville, Colorado, near Boulder, Colorado. A lot of these ideas come from Chris Germer—my close colleague, who developed the Mindful Self-Compassion program with me—and the things we have been talking about for a long time. Your email address will not be published. We are empowered by our connection with others. To add your comment, please click, Rev. For instance, when self-compassion is aimed at protecting ourselves, it feels like fierce, empowered clarity. They are not separate but are conjoined in us all, a yearning for peace and a yearning for justice, with a willingness to work for both. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Kristin about why it’s so difficult for so many people to treat themselves with actual compassion. The active Yang side self-compassion —how to see the truth of a situation with courage, protect yourself, and stand strong with others in the face of hostility or harm. (68 minutes). It feels different when you are providing for yourself, when you’re giving yourself what you truly, authentically need. The womb is an ultimate place of interdependence—both the mother and the fetus are interdependent and in a relationship of mutuality. When we give ourselves what we need, we feel fulfilled. Kristin explains that self-compassion is not some form of self-indulgence or excuse for bad behavior; indeed, there are actually various forms of self-compassion that arise in different situations. We stand together with our brothers and sisters in strength. Most people are familiar with the circle of yin and yang, black and white halves and a dot of each in between. We yearn, as Otto Rank recognized, for this mutuality our whole lives long—and to build a world or community where such mutuality can play out once again in our conscious world when we separate from the womb, enter the world, and grow up to serve one another in mutual interdependence. You’re going to want to reach your goals. 10:30-10:45. Yang self-compassion entails motivating, protecting, and providing for ourselves and our needs. She is the author of the book. The Chicago School of Psychology, 1015 15th St, NW, 4th floor, Washington, DC 20005. 12:15-1:45. Kristin Neff, PhD, is an associate professor at the University of Texas, Austin, and is the author of Self-Compassion (Morrow, 2011). The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion Misgivings about Self-Compassion Self-Compassion Research Gestures of Yin and Yang Self-Compassion. October 3, 2019 The concept of yin and yang is a perfect metaphor for the energies of self-compassion. It is important to recognize that there are two sides to compassion: Call it the Yin side and the Yang side, the feminine side and the masculine side. The active Yang side self-compassion - how to see the truth of a situation with courage, protect yourself, and stand strong with others in the face of hostility or harm. That is not OK. You will go no further.” Common humanity, that’s that “me too” feeling. This may really work better for me.” The research we’ve done really backs up that this kind of encouraging, wise voice of compassionate motivation is actually much more effective and more sustainable in motivating ourselves to change. Cultivating Kindness and Strength in the Face of Difficulty: Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion. We’re going to listen more to that encouraging and supportive voice. What a wonderful phrase, much needed as we experience cries for social justice. So if you think about it, what voice is more effective? Stay on this page to read about Kristin’s talk. Kristin and Chris recently co-authored The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, an immediate bestseller. This is an excerpt from a recent Facebook Live that Erin hosted. November 9, 2018. We only see what we did wrong and how we’re wrong. Meister Eckhart speaks to the two sides of compassion when he says: “Compassion is where peace and justice kiss.” Peace is the yin; justice is the yang. Read reviews from world’s largest community for readers. The login page will open in a new tab. There’s a wisdom element, too. Share the story. “Oh, I see. They talk about the practice of perspective-taking and how it can be a powerful bulwark against self-recrimination. the senior was yang, the junior was ying who should be controlled. The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion book. In yang self-compassion, we act in the world in order to protect ourselves, provide what we need, and motivate change to reach our full potential. See also: Matthew Fox, The Tao of Thomas Aquinas: Fierce Wisdom for Hard Times, pp. Free shipping for many products! Let me give an example of this last domain. It actually comes from the bigger view of interdependence—the causes and conditions that come together to create our suffering. It limits what we can see. He used yin and yang to expliand the three bonds (sangyang)- emperor to minister, father to son and husband to wife. Just like, “You’re bad. Most people are familiar with the circle of yin and yang, black and white halves and a dot of each in between. If you’re really harsh on yourself, maybe you’ll pay attention and remember and do something different. Passion for Creation: The Earth-Honoring Spirituality of Meister Eckhart, Please consider making a tax-deductible donation. The kindness is fierce: that’s the Momma Bear, “No! Thank you. To be continued, Adapted from Matthew Fox, Passion for Creation: Meister Eckhart’s Earth-Honoring Spirituality, “Be you compassionate as your Creator in Heaven is compassionate,” pp. The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion, Kristin Neff is an associate professor at the University of Texas and the author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. The active Yang side self-compassion―how to see the truth of a situation with courage, protect yourself, and stand strong with others in the face of hostility or harm. Try it next time you feel self-critical. A U.S. Army veteran with service in Asia and Europe, she holds degrees from Yale, Harvard, and MIT. What we know—actually you probably know this from positive psychology, is that negative emotions tend to narrow our focus. True compassion requires an even balance of both yin and yang. You did it wrong. Required fields are marked *. Passion for Creation: The Earth-Honoring Spirituality of Meister EckhartMatthew Fox’s comprehensive translation of Meister Eckhart’s sermons is a meeting of true prophets across centuries, resulting in a spirituality for the new millennium. Self-compassion taps into constructive criticism. The ideas and practices in The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion are the result of academic and scientific inquiry. The Liberating Power of Self-Compassion », Kristin Neff: The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion, Kristin Neff: The Liberating Power of Self-Compassion, Elizabeth Stanley: Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness. Or a voice that’s encouraging, supportive, “You can do it”? That’s a caring, understanding, compassionate approach. Sah D’Simone is a spiritual guide, meditation teacher, transformational speaker, and bestselling author. Think of the many positive changes that have taken place in recent times. But when the yang side of self-compassion is presented such as taking actions to protect, provide and motivate, they see the yang side of compassion which is more active and more stereo-typically masculine. Tami and Sah also discuss: the importance of reclaiming beauty, playfulness, and lightheartedness on the spiritual path; what it means to be a “joy activist”; Sah’s journey to becoming a spiritual teacher; the innate goodness within each one of us; forgiving the past; the evolution of Indian teachings in the West; the “spiritually sassy” glossary of terms; and much more. By Dr. Kristin Neff. Readers may know there are three basic components of self-compassion: And so these three components of kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness take a different form, they feel different, and they have a different flavor depending on what form the self-compassion is taking. Yin and yang (or yin-yang) is a complex relational concept in Chinese culture that has developed over thousands of years. The yin side of self-compassion is comforting, soothing, and nurturing which many men don’t readily identify with. Common humanity allows us to balance our needs with others. Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion : Cultivating Kindness and Strength in the Face of Difficulty by Kristin Neff (2019, Compact Disc, Unabridged edition) at the best online prices at eBay! Maybe I can try this different next time and that would lead to a better effect.” It’s actually much more informational to give wise encouragement as opposed to the belittling name-calling. Yang Self-Compassion is about acting in the world. Elizabeth Stanley is a Georgetown University professor and the creator of Mindfulness-based Mind Fitness Training (MMFT)®, an approach taught to thousands in civilian and military high stress environments. “Anger through love becomes fierce compassion,” this is such a different motivator than is shown by counter-demonstrators whose actions, for the most part, display anger, but lack love and compassion. In the Jewish tradition, compassion is recognized as “the secret name for God.”  One might say that Jesus let the secret out of the bag when he teaches: “Be you compassionate as your Creator in heaven is compassionate.”  (Lk 6: 36). In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Elizabeth Stanley about her 8-session online course, Mindfulness-Based Mind Fitness Training: A Trauma-Sensitive Online Course to Build Resilience and Thrive During Stress. Today, he leads a heart-based healing movement rooted in tried-and-true techniques, pioneering a spiritually sassy approach in which joy and authenticity illuminate the spiritual path. The Yin (co-being) and Yang (be active in the world) qualities of compassion have a common denominator: caring. On this minisode, Erin talks about the Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion originated by Kristin Neff and the incredible power of learning to nurture ourselves, quiet the inner critic, and take action when necessary to create the things we need for our own peace and success. So in this case, kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness feels like encouraging, wise vision. Born in Brazil, Sah moved to the US when he was 16. 417-439. . They are not separate but are conjoined in us all, a yearning for peace and a yearning for justice, with a willingness to work for both. Briefly put, the meaning of yin and yang is that the universe is governed by a cosmic duality, sets of two opposing and complementing principles or cosmic energies that can be observed in nature. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Reddit Email 0 Shares. In this podcast, Sah speaks with Sounds True founder Tami Simon about his new book, Spiritually Sassy: 8 Radical Steps to Activate Your Innate Superpowers. An explosion of research into self-compassion over the last decade has shown its benefits for well-being. The feminine side feels more like peace and the masculine side feels more like justice—which often demands a fierce struggle and warrior energy, for injustice usually puts up an immense fight. And then mindfulness gives us a real sense of authenticity: “What do I need? It’s not kindness when someone needs to be motivated and they’re stuck, to just say, “Oh well, that’s fine.” Or to ourselves, if we aren’t feeling happy, to say, “Oh, that’s fine.” Kindness means we don’t criticize ourselves; we don’t call ourselves names, but we say “You can do it! So many issues have been raised and overcome with kind, connected men and fierce, empowered women. Or it doesn’t see the bigger picture of all the causes and conditions that led to this outcome. Tami’s Takeaway CMSC Co-Founder. The peacemaker’s path is a rhythm, a balance, a dialectic. Research suggests that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience we have available to us. That is not OK. You will go no further.” Common humanity, that’s that “me too” feeling. How does that play out in your soul, your spiritual practice, and your sacred activism? Please consider making a tax-deductible donation, Sempre bello leggere le meditazioni quotidiani di Mattew. The receptive Yin side self-compassion - how to soothe and comfort yourself when you're in pain and rest in loving, connected presence when alone or with those you care about. Mindfulness-Based Mind Fitness Training: A Trauma-Sensitive Online Course to Build Resilience and Thrive During Stress. When it comes to actually practicing self-compassion, Neff says there are two sides: Yin and Yang, based on the Chinese philosophy that dual forces can be complementary. In yin self-compassion, we hold ourselves with love—validating, soothing, and comforting our pain so that we can “be” with it without being consumed by it. Tami and Kristin explore the roots of wrathful or angry self-compassion, including the mythological figures that embody this concept. Your email address will not be published. A U.S. Army veteran with service in Asia and Europe, she holds degrees from Yale, Harvard, and MIT. She has been practicing Buddhist meditation since 1997, and has co-created a program on Mindful Self-Compassion with her associate Chris Germer at Harvard University. I am reading Andrew Harvey’s “The Hope”, all about Sacred Activism, in which he notes that: “..anger through love becomes fierce compassion”. Yin compassion is like a mother tenderly comforting her crying child. In addition to her research, she has developed an eight‑week program to teach self‑compassion skills called Mindful Self-Compassion. which is just what you are teaching here and everywhere. 113-116.See also: Matthew Fox, A Spirituality Named Compassion.Banner Image: “Water Fire Taiji.” Image by root on 4-designer.com. Sounds True is a multimedia publishing company founded in 1985 by Tami Simon, with the mission of disseminating spiritual wisdom. In the prophetic tradition “compassion means justice” (Eckhart); and in the mystical tradition compassion means swimming in the fetal waters of togetherness—surely this is why in both Hebrew and Arabic the word for compassion comes from the word for womb. The active Yang side self-compassion—how to see the truth of a situation with courage, protect yourself, and stand strong with others in the face of hostility or harm. This activates our mammalian “tend and befriend” system, releases oxytocin, and shifts us out of the threat-defense system. Posted on January 11, 2020 January 11, 2020 by kathiemm. The feminine side is more like water and the masculine side is more like fire. A voice telling you how bad you are, who’s belittling you, who’s really mean? The concept of yin and yang is a perfect metaphor for the energies of self-compassion. Indeed, I discovered Eckhart when I was researching for my book on A Spirituality Named Compassion and I was  beginning to despair about how little was written in Christian history about compassion—how much more ink was spilled on “contemplation” than on compassion. Kindness, on the other hand, yields a kind of wisdom. The book and documentary The Horse Boy chronicle Kristin and her family’s extraordinary journey to help her autistic son. If you care about yourself and you don’t want to suffer, you’re going to want to make needed changes. And last, if we’re motivating ourselves, kindness in motivation comes out as encouragement. Kristin Neff, PhD, is an associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin and a practitioner in the Insight Meditation tradition. The yin and yang of compassion and consequences. Again, it feels very different. The Liberating Power of Self-Compassion » Enjoy two FREE gifts when you join our global online community. Everything has a yin and yang; opposing polarities that are, nevertheless, interdependent on each other. For people who like structure and order, Yang meditation is appealing. This is an excerpt from the Insights at the Edge podcast episode with Kristin Neff, author of The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion: Cultivating Kindness and Strength in the Face of Difficulty. Practice: Yin and Yang Supportive Touch Practice: Yin Self-Compassion Break Practice: Soften-Soothe-Allow. "Fierce Self-Compassion: Activating the Yin & Yang of Self-Compassion" allows us to turn to the wide spectrum of possibility in Yin and Yang self-compassion, a powerful arsenal of resources including soothing and comforting, caring, protecting, providing and motivating ourselves when things fall apart. Do it better next time.” It doesn’t say what to do differently or how to do it differently. The dialectic of yin and yang • Yin and yang must be balanced and integrated for wholeness and wellbeing • Girls are socialized to be yin and not yang ➢ Disempowers women • Boys are socialized to be yang and not yin ➢ Creates fear of vulnerability in men • The gendering of yin and yang helps to lock patriarchy in place • Both energies are needed for inner healing and outer change • Yin and yang self … With Sounds True, she has recently published the audio program The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion. In any moment of self-criticism or self-blame, a “go-to move” that is immediately effective and state-changing is to gently touch your arm, stroke your face, or place your hand on your heart (any form of soothing touch). This book is lovely to listen to and the lessons about the Yang part of self-compassion offer energy, strength, dynamism, and optimism to anyone seeking change, large or small. Please log in again. But really these energies are not male or female, these energies are in every single person and actually all life forms. They also have the resilience needed to cope with stressful life events such as divorce, health crises, and academic failure, and even combat traum… Learn more at self-compassion.org. The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion. Enter your email below. And then, mindfulness, in this case, is vision. For instance, when self-compassion is aimed at protecting ourselves, it feels like fierce, empowered clarity. What self-criticism tends to do, is it just gives us not very wise information. Receive Matthew Fox's Daily Meditation by subscribing below: Responses are welcomed. I believe in you!” Kindness is a very encouraging quality. Matthew Fox, PhD, author, theologian, and activist priest, has been calling people of spirit and conscience into the Creation Spirituality lineage for over 50 years. Stepping up protect, provide and motivate ourselves. Do you also recognize both a Yin side and a Yang side to compassion? What I have been doing with this model is developing each of these ideas in more detail. Together, yin and yang self-compassion create a powerful force for emotional resilience and wellbeing, allowing us to care for ourselves, for others, and for our world in a wholehearted and sustainable way. The cofounder of the acclaimed Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (known as ACT), Steven is a contributor to the Sounds True book The Self Acceptance Project: How to Be Kind and Compassionate Toward Yourself in Any Situation and the author of the Sounds True audio program Acceptance and Commitment Theory. Tao of Thomas Aquinas: Fierce Wisdom for Hard Times. In this podcast, Sah speaks with Sounds True founder Tami Simon about his new book, Spiritually Sassy: 8 Radical Steps to Activate Your Innate Superpowers. Finally, they discuss the most common blocks to self-assertive compassion and the necessity of taking occasional “self-compassion breaks” to cultivate a better relationship within. Do I even know what I need?” When self-compassion is in full bloom while we are providing for our needs, it manifests as fulfilling, balanced authenticity. Common humanity kind of sees how things are related to each other. Daily Meditations with Matthew Fox is made possible through the generosity of donors. And to give him credit, Chris actually⁠ came up with the idea that the main domains of yang self-compassion are protecting ourselves, providing ourselves with what we need, and motivating ourselves. The receptive Yin side self-compassion —how to soothe and comfort yourself when you’re in pain and rest in loving, connected presence when alone or with those you care about. You’re going to want to be your best self. She and her family were featured in the recent documentary The Horse Boy. The yin is the dark energy; it’s supposed to be more feminine, more of a passive energy, more the “being with.” And the white⁠—or yang⁠—is supposedly the more active energy, the masculine energy, doing things that make a change. They also discuss why MMFT is a practice we can all benefit from; the value of expanding our “window of tolerance”; the relationship between personal agency and trauma; the “thinking” brain versus the “survival” brain; when stress becomes trauma; the importance of recovery from stressful situations; and more. We can’t actually see possibilities because the negative emotion actually has the function, evolutionarily actually, of narrowing our vision. And then the mindfulness is that real sense of clarity, that “This is not OK.” So it’s a difference between loving, connected presence, and fierce, empowered clarity. The program, co‑created with her colleague Chris Germer, has been taken by tens of thousands of people worldwide. With common humanity, we recognize that it’s a balanced way; in other words, we don’t just give to ourselves, and we don’t subordinate our needs to those of others, but we’re balanced. 2:00 PM - 5:00 PM. 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